Letting Go
by momoxtoshiro
Summary: "HOMRA was not a very conversational group, especially not regarding serious or sensitive matters; the members were all close enough that they did not require words in order to convey their thoughts and emotions. But whenever words were spoken during such serious or sensitive times, there was always something much, much more beyond what was spoken. Now was one of those times."


**I literally woke up one morning and wrote this for 3 hours straight without even getting out of bed or putting my contact lenses in. I got this idea overnight, I think, and woke up with it in my mind and just wrote it like that. You may wanna read the manga Memory of Red to better understand some of this.**

** I hope you enjoy! Again, this is dedicated to my cousin, Kelly.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own K**

* * *

Letting Go

Tiny, cold flakes of alabaster snow floated lazily down into the city that had long prepared for sleep.

Most of the people had probably nodded off already, however, there was one particular area of town where the lights were still on. Izumo's bar usually stayed open late, but this was the only night it remained open for so much longer.

The usually-lively atmosphere given off by the present HOMRA members was significantly subdued this evening as midnight neared, only thirty minutes away. The younger boys, Misaki, Souhei, and Saburouta, chattered idly at one table as they slowly ate their food, but the rambunctious feeling they gave off the other 364 days of the year was nonexistent.

Izumo, with his favorite sunglasses resting atop his head, stood behind the bar, cleaning off the counter. On a stool before him sat the tiny frame of Anna, her snow-white hair reaching all the way down her small back, yet her small feet far from able to reach the floor. She had not spoken a single word the entire day, but whether that was because she had not been addressed or because she did not want to speak, was unknown to the bartender.

She sat there in her frilled, dark red dress picking meagerly at the plate with the piece of pie in front of her; the food was rearranged in every which way, but the same amount as initially given was still present. Downcast, rose-colored irises continued to gaze blankly at the food before her, and Izumo sighed; he was concerned because she had not eaten anything all day, but he could hardly blame her.

It had only been 2 years since Totsuka's death- no, murder- and although it had been a devastating blow to every member of HOMRA, little Anna still took it the hardest. Being as experienced as Mikoto or Izumo, they had lost friends along the way before, none who had ever been as close as Totsuka, but they still understood the concept of death and loss.

However, as far as Izumo could tell, Totsuka had been one of Anna's first and closest companions of her entire life, but he did not simply stand up one day, leave and never return. That scenario would at least give leeway that he was still alive.

No, Totsuka had been doing what he always did, his favorite hobby of filming, just as he would any other night, but he did not simply skip town; he recorded his own murder for all to see and hear.

And it all happened 15 minutes before their princess's birthday began.

Izumo knew full-well that Totsuka loved every member of HOMRA just as they all loved him, yet his bond with Anna was like that of an older brother, a bond she had never had before; for that dependent, strong, and peaceful figure to be stolen from them in such a terribly painful manner...

It still pained Izumo to think about how this small girl felt. He remembered the times when she used to talk so much more, when that sweet, innocent voice would pipe in during a conversation of burly, deep voices and set off a calming atmosphere one could not help but smile at.

But now, that innocence was lost in the cruel reality of death; Izumo knew that if she lost even one more person dear to her, she would probably attempt to starve herself. She reminded him of a rabbit that could easily die of loneliness.

Thinking about such things, Izumo opened his mouth to try and persuade her to eat, but he then noticed there was a silence within the room that had been present for some time now. The boys has stopped chattering, and now the only sound was the dull murmur of the television.

With a glance at his wristwatch, Izumo noted that it was 11:40PM, and put down the cloth he had been cleaning with. He sighed, but just as he was about to bow his head, the sound of familiar footsteps brought his attention to the entrance of the adjoining room of the bar, opposite the exit to the city.

With his slow and steady pace, and the air of ever-constant respect and authority about him, Mikoto walked into the room like the leader of the wolf pack, whose presence humbled all others. All male eyes turned to briefly note his entrance as he walked around the bar, taking a seat beside the only person who had yet to raise her head for the past hour.

"Izumo," his deep, grumbling voice was casual and plain, but it shattered the mourning atmosphere in an almost-painful way. "Get me some water, will you?"

But although their King had broken their sacred silence, Izumo knew exactly what Mikoto was doing, and he was certain the others could figure it out as well.

Mikoto knew all too well that the other members of HOMRA would be mourning at this time, just has they had been the same time last year. But he was the King, and what ruler would allow his people to wallow in sorrow and grief alone?

"Sure." Izumo gave the tiniest of grins, although his eyes were still sad, as he prepared the drink.

Certainly, Mikoto yearned to grieve too, to sit vigil with the rest of them as the anniversary of Totsuka's death crashed down upon them yet again. But as their King, he was obliged not to let that happen. The previous year as well as the one before that, they had all suffered and mourned quite enough; the words he spoke tonight were a message to his subjects that is was okay to start moving on. He was not being heartless about it either, he was merely trying to help the ones he cared about through their toughest time.

_There really is no better King. Anywhere_. Izumo thought gratefully as he placed the glass of water before his old friend.

The clock silently struck 11:45, and had their King not been present, surely Misaki and the rest would have gotten up to pace angrily about the room or began delving into frustrated topics of conversation. But the calming assurance and support of their leader had reached them, and after a brief, appropriate silence for Totsuka, the boys soon began to talk normally with one another again.

Izumo rubbed his eyes dry with the back of his hand before they could get too wet and allowed a small smile back onto his lips as Mikoto silently drained his glass.

It appeared the heavy atmosphere that had been weighing down all all of HOMRA that entire day and evening had finally been broken apart. _Saved by the King_. Izumo thanked Mikoto silently with a slight nod. Mikoto caught his old friend's eye and gave a short grunt.

Izumo felt that his King was most definitely correct; there would be times for mourning and regretting, but now every December 7th from here on out should be about bittersweet memories rather than regretting the unavoidable.

Besides, it was now only minutes away from quite a happy day.

Izumo knew that the boys, being older, could move on with the burden of Totsuka's death a bit easier now, but his concern for their only female member then proved to be justified.

As Mikoto focused on his drink, Izumo had turned to the doll-like person next to him, about to speak to her, only to have the words die in his throat. She was clutching her fork with her head bowed over her still-untouched food. Her shoulders were shaking, and small gasps hitched her breath as crystal tears stained her plate. Izumo lost his smile immediately and quickly went to her.

"Anna." It was as he had feared; she was still too young, too innocent, to delicate to be expected to slip through this terribly sad time with simply a small prayer and a moment of silence.

Mikoto made a slight, questioning sound as he turned his head to follow Izumo. He heaved a sigh upon the pitiful sight of her, and although his eyes appeared cold and uncaring to an outsider, it was times like these when it was clearest to HOMRA's members what their King's thoughts truly were. He did not sigh out of annoyance nor gaze up her as if she were being a noisy child; quite the opposite in fact. His eyes were rimmed with concern and above all, helplessness; his sigh was an insecure question: _"Have I not been a strong enough King to help everyone through this?"_

His long-time friend Izumo sensed these fears instantly and shook his head once, glancing helplessly down at the girl before him. The two shared an unspoken conversation then, an exchange of words that can only be seen between the eyes of those who are truly close. Mikoto soon understood what Izumo was trying to tell him; _"You did everything as a King should have. This isn't your fault; it's the bastard who killed Totsuka's."_

Mikoto gave a curt nod before standing. By now, Anna's forcefully subdued sobs had turned into a quiet weeping- the only sounds of her voice any of them had heard all day.

"Anna..." Izumo whispered again, trying to comfort her as best he could. She shook her head, and he understood that she was not denying his attempt to make her feel better; she was apologizing for ruining the atmosphere Mikoto had so painstakingly created, as now all eyes were fixed on her, undoubtedly remembering the death of Totsuka just as their King has tried to prevent.

Mikoto reached out and placed a hand on her back, his large palm and long fingers almost as big as her shoulders were wide. Anna jumped at the contact, taking Mikoto's acknowledgment of her as a sign that she truly had ruined his carefully constructed methods.

The two men could easily detect this guilt and shame wafting off of her. "No, no," Izumo soothed. "That's not right, Anna. It's not like that." He said softly. But she shook her head again, her tears now falling freely due to a mixture of guilt and utter sadness. Her fork screeched against the plate as her tiny hand clutched it desperately, as though for dear life, only to drop it an instant later.

Izumo placed his hand on top of the small one that had gone limp on the counter. "There, there." He murmured as Mikoto stroked her back. "It'll be all right."

Mikoto gave him a tiny grin to show his approval; there was nothing more insensitive than telling a grieving person "It's all right" because to them, right now, it was not "all right"; nothing was "all right". It would only prove to break her further. To support her, all Izumo could do was put into words his hope that things would eventually get better at some point in the future.

By now, Misaki and the others had noticed the scene and shot concerned glances at Izumo who just shook them off. Izumo lightly squeezed the trembling hand beneath his as she continued to cry.

However, Mikoto would not allow her to be the spectacle any longer; although no one here was any bit angry at her, to the upset girl beside him, every stare seemed judgmental.

Mikoto stood and reached out his other arm to slide beneath her knees. Effortlessly, he lifted her off her seat, two tears suspended in midair for a moment as she was brought away from the tear-stained plate. Although her eyes were squeezed shut, she quickly curled into Mikoto's chest, her tiny hands clutching at his shirt as she buried her face and wept uncontrollably.

HOMRA was not a very conversational group, especially not regarding serious or sensitive matters; the members were all close enough that they did not require words in order to convey their thoughts and emotions. But whenever words were spoken during such serious or sensitive times, there was always something much, much more beyond what was spoken.

Now was one of those times.

The unsettlingly painful sound of Anna's sobs filled the room and was difficult to listen to, as she was the one who openly shed the tears they had all so desperately tried to lock away; for that, they were all both grateful and sorrowful. She still held onto that sacred innocence they had so carelessly suppressed and concealed, and she certainly held a very special place in all of their hearts.

As Mikoto headed toward the room he had entered from, with Anna in his arms, he pulled her just the slightest bit closer to him. "Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, just loud enough that everyone could hear him. "I miss him, too." He finished before disappearing.

As the sounds of Anna's sobbing faded away, the ones who remained in the bar all let out long sighs. But Mikoto's words had moved them all so greatly. The facade he had put up for them, that it was time to move on, had come crumbling down by his own words.

Obviously, Mikoto himself was still not ready to move on and forget Totsuka, and he made it known that it was okay if they were not prepared either.

With this knowledge and slight sense of humility filling the room, Izumo covered his eyes with his sunglasses as the three at the table fell silent and began mumbling their frustrated conversations.

* * *

Pale, winter-morning sunlight filtered in through the single window of the room behind the bar.

Mikoto sat on the couch, his memories of several hours ago flooding back to him as he woke.

Anna lie curled up at his side, his left hand still resting on her shoulder from when he had gently stroked her hair until she finished crying herself to sleep. He could still make out the dried trails of tears on her face, and Mikoto snorted once, angry with himself that he had not been able to stop them.

He slowly began to emit a faint heat as the numbness in his hand died away and he began to move it again, over her shoulder and down her side. Like a lion protecting a wounded kitten, he presently gave off the impression that he would incinerate, with his vision alone, anything or anyone that dared approach her right now. He gazed down at her, her gently soft breathing the exact opposite of how she had convulsively hiccuped herself into slumber the night before. Her cold hands that were clutched before her chest quickly became warm along with the rest of her body, and she seemed to become more peaceful.

He did not know how long he stayed with her like that, but some time later, Mikoto felt her stir. She made a small, puzzled sound as she opened her eyes and noticed where she was, surely recalling the miserable events that had brought her to this place earlier that morning.

She pushed herself up and Mikoto supported her as she swayed a bit. He allowed her a moment to gather her bearings, but before she could speak, he did.

"Let's get something to eat." He rumbled, standing.

Anna gave the tiniest of nods and did the same, and just like that, the events of the previous night were pushed from all minds.

As they headed toward the door, Anna was wiping her eyes and did not take Mikoto's hand as she always did. Therefore, he took hers.

Once they arrived in the bar, all the other members of HOMRA awaited them. A cheerful chorus went up: "Happy birthday, Anna-chan!" A banner across the counter said the same.

The girl wore an expression on her face as if she had wholeheartedly forgotten it was her birthday, and she unconsciously squeezed Mikoto's hand tighter. He squeezed hers back breifly before letting go, heading away to eat leftovers from dinner as the other members crowded Anna with congratulations.

Izumo patted her back happily as Misaki and the others argued over exactly how old she was today before being reprimanded by the bartender about how rude it was to forget a companion's age. Anna could only manage to bow her head to them as the corners of her mouth desperately tried to rise into a smile that she finally managed to crack, if only for a fraction of a second, but everyone noticed.

"We went out and got you a nice cake." Izumo announced proudly. "It's in the fridge right now." His genuine smile that was still understandably concerned presented her with an offer. But although Anna managed to smile back, when she opened her mouth no sound came out, and she shook her head sorrowfully. Izumo patted her back again. _It's okay. I understand you're still not feeling up to it. _He said without words. "Okay. We'll be sure to eat it together tonight, okay?" He grinned.

Anna's voice still failed her at the moment so she only nodded once. Izumo patted her head before squatting down on one knee before her and giving her a small hug. The girl let out a long-suffering sigh before Mikoto's voice directed everyone's attention toward their King.

"Oy, Yata," he said, not meaning to sound rude, although no one present took it in such a way. "Did you get it?" He asked.

The boy in question faced his King and puffed out his chest proudly.

"I did! It's all ready, Mikoto-san!" He declared with a grin.

"Mmph." The grunt came with a small grin and a nod, which altogether translated to a grateful _Thanks. _

He then turned to Anna who was led over to him by Izumo. "Did you eat?" Mikoto asked her. She shook her head in the negative. "Fine." He grunted. _If you're still not feeling well, that's to be expected. _If anything, he blamed himself for her lack of appetite since he had been unable to make her feel better. "Come on." _Follow me. I have something to show you. _

He turned and headed for the exit, and Izumo gave Anna a small push to get her following after; the others watched her go with smiles.

* * *

After all the time they had spent together, Mikoto had subconsciously adjusted his long stride to match her smaller pace, and Anna had made her step just a bit faster in order not to hinder him too greatly.

Mikoto waited for her to seek out his hand, but when she did not, he knew she was still a bit too upset to be back into her normal habits just yet. Therefore, he nonchalantly let his right hand slip from his pocket and Anna instantly perked up and took it with her left.

She followed him past the city streets a while until they came to a slightly greener area.

Open farmland stretched out before them in a frost-covered, grassy, several-acre field of flat land. Anna could not easily recall ever seeing such a place, but with the sparkling frost about it, not unlike the surface of a frozen lake, it appeared breathtaking to her.

Mikoto seemed to know just where to go, however, as he led her to as small building. A sign outside read "Rent a Ride!" and just as Anna was trying to decipher what those words meant, she spotted a white shape in the corner of her eye.

A white horse stood nearby, a saddle on its sturdy back and a bridle around its majestic head. The reigns were tied to a post as the horse grazed the area around its hooves.

Anna raised her head to look up at Mikoto and opened her mouth to try and speak, but Mikoto spoke first.

"Yata got him." _We all decided it would be a good present_.

Immediately, Anna's memories of several years ago came rushing back to her. She remembered trying to bring a horse, or rather, a Strain, under HOMRA's care. However, despite Scepter 4's actions, Anna had insisted that the Strain be let free to do as it pleased, which had resulted in the joyful sight of seeing its previous owner happily married.

Anna remembered this time quite clearly, however what she remembered even more strongly about it was the one other person who had been beside her who was no longer here.

The video recorded at that time had been the only one to capture the face of the recorder for an instant.

Presently, Anna became still and Mikoto sighed, knowing this would likely be the case. However, wanting her to focus on the happy memories, not the sad, he led her over to the waiting horse and, grabbing her dress at the nape of her neck, hoisted her into the saddle.

Her resonation with animals still amazed even Mikoto as the horse instantly raised his head and gave a gleeful whinny as Anna timidly reached out to pet his neck.

Untying the reigns, Mikoto wordlessly led the horse toward the field, along the fence, keeping a fine pace with the large animal. Anna curled her fingers in the horse's mane and petted him gently, and he seemed more than content to be her transportation for a while.

From her higher perch, Anna could see the vast expanse of gray fields before her, along with the deep blue sky and bright sunlight. Even Mikoto thought it was weather befitting a day as important as her birthday.

He stole a glance back at the girl after several moments to find all traces of sadness had left her rose-colored eyes. Sighing with relief, he continued to lead the horse across the field for a time.

At one point, he let go of the reigns and removed the bridle altogether, letting the horse run freely with the doll-like princess upon his back. Mikoto knew he would not mind suffering all the troubles of the world if it meant she could continue to wear such an elated smile as the one he saw then.

The white horse dashed wondrously across the frozen fields; with the silver mane just mixing in with the silver hair of the rider, even Mikoto could not keep the grin from his face.

After rounding the field several times, the horse made its way back to Mikoto, who then replaced the bridle and walked it for a while longer, producing a warm barrier around the three of them to make their breath easier.

Suddenly, the horse halted and refused to budge until Mikoto turned around. The white ears were twisted sideways in distress and Mikoto could easily tell what as affecting it.

Anna's head bowed over the horse's neck as small tears dripped into its fur. Evidently, the horse and she already has such a strong bond that it would not have her being ignored while she was upset. Mikoto rightfully agreed with it.

But as he walked back to stand beside Anna, who was now about face-level with him, Mikoto could tell that, unlike the previous night, these were not tears of sorrow.

A unique characteristic about the members of HOMRA was their wordlessness, the ability to hardly say anything at all and have others able to perceive and interpret the deeper meaning behind the few rare words that _were_ spoken.

He had already told her throughout the day, and she had heard him very clearly, but he still felt it was important enough that it must be said in his own words.

"You know," he said in his deep voice that rumbled slightly within her chest. "Moving on doesn't always mean you're forgetting because you're weak," he reached up and covered her small hand with his. "Sometimes, it means you're strong enough to let go."

Anna raised her beautiful, rose-colored irises to lock with his crimson ones. The bright, lively shimmer was back in her eyes and she blinked the final tear away.

"Thank you, Mikoto." At last, she whispered in the voice that no one had heard for two days.

Mikoto gave her a lopsided grin and Anna smiled back.

Finally, he led the horse to the post again, and, as per instructions of the renting business, Mikoto tethered the horse back to his post. The animal seemed chagrined to say goodbye to his rider, but both Anna and the horse seemed more than delightedly surprised when the Red King muttered, "We'll be back sometime."

Mikoto grabbed Anna's dress at her back and lowered her to the ground. She petted the horse and murmured her temporary farewell which it nickered back to. Mikoto waited until she was ready.

"Let's go eat some cake." He muttered, sounding a bit exhausted from having walked around so much.

Anna smiled, for she knew precisely what he truly meant to say: _Happy birthday, Anna_.

With a short, contented giggle, she bounded after him, reaching up to take his hand.

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**A/N: Gosh I enjoyed writing this, so I hope you enjoyed reading it ;u; The original plan was just a pony ride story, but somehow all this happened...**

**Please review!**


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